Living and reporting the Gaza war

As one of only two foreign journalists in Gaza, Al Jazeera English correspondent Sherine Tadros watched as the war ravaged the landscape and lives. She slept for three hours at night, snatching moments in the artificial calm between the ceaseless bombardments that fell on Gaza.

"Nothing was sacred. Nothing was spared. There was no respect. Everything was a target," Ms.Tadros said. But was not only reporting the story of Gaza; she was living it.

"I talked to a woman who was trying to live her life and protect her children; I understood what she meant when she said that she felt nowhere was safe," said Ms Tadros. "I was living the same war."

Ms Tadros had been in Gaza for three months prior to the start of the war, with her colleague Ayman Mohyeldin. She had entered Gaza before Israel imposed a two month blockade, closing the borders, to do a report on President Barack Obama's popularity in the region.

She stayed beyond the end of her assignment to report on the slow strangulation of life in Gaza that Israel's blockade was creating.

Just before Israel began its assault on Gaza the borders were opened. "There was a period of two weeks before the war when things began to get back to normal. There was an influx of journalists, but then they then all left," said Ms Tadros. "But in news terms the blockade was easing so it appeared that the story was dying."

Foreign journalists came and went into Gaza over the next couple of days. Then the media coverage went quiet.

Sherine Tadros on the road to Zeitoun before the Israeli Army allowed access. Photo credit: Al Jazeera English

The Al Jazeera English film crew was sent to London to do a hostile environment training course. Sherine stayed behind. Gaza became a hostile environment.

"We really felt like we were the only ones there," said Ms Tadros.

Gaza reverberated with each falling shell. People ran between buildings trying to find a safe place to escape the war. "But there is no frontline in this war," said Ms Tadros in one of her reports, "One-and-a-half million civilians are trapped."

Shifa hospital was unable to cope with the scale of the human casualties. The smell of the dead and dying mingled with the dust from the destroyed buildings. The heavy air hung like a suffocating hand over Gaza.

Ms Tadros didn't hide herself or her feelings from her reports during the 22 days of war that pounded Gaza. The emotion was raw, but credible, authentic and powerful.

"As a journalist your job is to understand what the story is. And my stories were just about people. I wasn't trying to find war crimes," said Ms Tadros.

And she did not become caught up with the relentless dogma of journalism that a journalist must be objective.

"Journalism has somehow got trapped in a paradigm where you have to remain objective and that emotions are bad," said Mark Brayne, journalist-turned-psychotherapist. "That is a fundamental misunderstanding of what journalism and humans are about. If we work only from the head we miss out on most of human experiences."

Sherine Tadros in hospital with Ahmed Samouni. 16 members of his family were killed in the conflict. Photo credit: Al Jazeera English

Mr Brayne has been championing the need for journalists to be emotionally literate through his work with the Dart Centre for Journalism and Trauma. "What is important about journalistic 'objectivity' is that we have to be aware of where our emotions are clouding the authentic voice of the story."

Mr Brayne left journalism because his marriage was failing. After years of reporting from around the world his personal relationships were paying the price for his life as a journalist.

"I realised when I was in therapy how much richness there was in the world of emotions that could be brought to bear on the world of journalism," said Mr Brayne. "Otherwise you are doing two dimensional journalism."

"Journalists care deeply about the stories they report on but that is not the image that they are asked to convey," said Mark. And that is where the best journalism lies hidden.

"I had lived the war," said Ms Tadros. She stopped. She was silent for a moment. Her emotion filled the space. Her journalism told the story.